The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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