Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
