my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
