Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
