At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sex in the backyard? Check.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
