I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
