i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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