Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
