I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
