I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
