Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
