She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
