The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
