Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
