Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
