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I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Operation Purity has been aborted
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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