I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
