sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Pooping to opera.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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