You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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