my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
