Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
