NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
