That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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