Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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