oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
