Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
