dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
