you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
