I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
