Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
