How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
