Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
