Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize