I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's shark week go big or go home
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
