so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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