dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
