i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
