So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
