I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
