drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize