I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
