I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
