remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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