How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
