What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
