i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
