He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize