Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
