This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
did i just pee glitter
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
