you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
