How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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