Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
