Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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