Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
