Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
