You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
