They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize