y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
